this is why we offer couples intensives

couples intensives - man and woman arguing

Does this sound like you? You have the same argument again and again. You sometimes feel like you’re walking on eggshells with your partner. The same old injury comes up every time you have an argument. You long to be heard and understood. Your relationship is stuck or at a tipping point. You’re in a crisis and you want to do something now before it gets worse. Maybe there has been infidelity or some other break in trust. You’re considering divorce or separation but would rather save the marriage, if that’s possible. You want to feel that your partner is accessible, responsive, and emotionally engaged. If that describes your situation, what if you could experience the change you pray for now rather than later? Wouldn’t you like to see results over a couple of days rather than over months? That’s what couples intensives are designed to do.

Marriage Can Be A Challenge

The stigma of marriage counseling is long gone and it has become common in America to see a marriage counselor. Forty-four percent of couples who get married today go to couples counseling, some even before they marry. That’s because in our complex world, marriage can be a challenge. It doesn’t matter whether you have been married a few months, years, or decades, marriage is not for the faint of heart. Loving, caring, and staying connected in a lifetime relationship can be difficult. And research shows that it is not financial problems or lack of communication, sex, or even conflict that causes marriages to struggle; the main reason for marital dissatisfaction is emotional disconnection.

Every person, in one way or another, is constantly asking their partner one question: “Can I depend on you when I need you? Are you there for me?” When one partner feels that the answer is no, it causes a rupture in the bond which sets off a chain reaction of emotions such as fear, anger, sadness, and shame. These emotions are then assigned meanings like “I can’t please him/she is unpleasable; this relationship is impossible”. Those meanings then trigger protective actions of anxiously pursuing, characterized by clinging, nagging, blaming, or criticizing, or avoidantly withdrawing, characterized by shutting down, going silent, or leaving. This negative cycle of pursuing and withdrawing/attacking and shutting down escalates like the vortex of a tornado.

Repair and reconnect with couples intensives

couples intensives - man and woman having discussion

If you’ve experienced emotional disconnection in your marriage, you know firsthand that it won’t go away by itself. You’ve probably done everything you know to fix what you think is the problem. But no matter how hard you try, nothing works. You can’t argue your way out of it, ignore your way out of it, or just wait it out. The only way to change things is to repair and reconnect. But how can you do that? With two words: couples intensives.

SoulCare Counseling offers private two-day or three-day couples intensives where you can jump-start your marriage and accomplish in days what would take months in weekly counseling. Using a combination of extended couples counseling sessions and intentional couples work using the book, Created For Connection, by Dr. Susan Johnson and Kenneth Sanderfer, your counselor will help you de-escalate your negative cycle and begin the journey toward repair and reconnection. After the couples intensive experience, you will be ready to begin building a safe and secure connection.

The Power Of couples intensives

If you had an injury that required either months of physical therapy or two to three days of therapy, the choice would be simple. We are into our second decade of doing couples intensives and have consistently found that, while it is not a “magic pill,” couples definitely get back on track and experience positive changes more quickly in that short time than do couples in weekly counseling.

In couples intensives, the therapist sees you in our Colleyville office for two two three days of uninterrupted Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), the most successful couple’s therapy model there is. Using a combination of Emotionally Focused Therapy and couples work out of a fantastic book called “Created For Connection,” the therapist will help you de-escalate from your negative cycle and discover the underlying emotions and needs driving it. The therapist will then guide you in sharing with one another in ways that you and your partner can hear and receive. Forgiveness and reconciliation usually happen in the couples intensives and you either reconnect or at the very least get firmly on the path to reconnection.

Common Questions About Couples IntensiveS

What Is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)?

couples intensives - couple sitting on dock overlooking water

EFT is a scientifically proven method of helping couples move out of an insecure attachment to a secure attachment by breaking negative patterns, creating new ways of interacting, and developing a strong, lasting connection. 70-75% of couples who complete EFT experience change, and 90% of couples see significant improvement.

What is the fee for Couples IntensiveS?

Two-day couples intensive - $3,000 for new clients (this includes the 3 intake sessions done before the weekend); $2,500 for current clients (who have already had their 3 intake sessions).

Three-day couples intensive - $3,500 for new clients; $3,000 for current clients.
One-day couples intensive - $1,400 (for current clients or those who’ve completed an intensive)

are couples intensives covered by insurance?

All services of SoulCare Counseling are fee-for-service. We do not file insurance for you, but will provide you with an invoice if requested, and you can file with your insurance company for an out-of-network reimbursement. Understand that not all insurance companies reimburse for out-of-network, so you will need to discuss this with your insurance provider.

What will we be doing in COUPLES intensives?

Below is an example of the type of schedule that is used at a two-day intensive. However, this schedule is flexible and can be adjusted according to need.

Day One

12:00-1:15 Couples Counseling

1:15-2:00 Break and couple work on "The Demon Dialogues"

2:00-3:15 Couples Counseling

3:15-4:00 Break and couple work on "Finding the Raw Spots"

4:00-5:15 Couples Counseling

5:15-5:30 Wrap-up and evening assignment for "Revisiting A Rocky Moment"

Day Two

10:00-11:15 Couples Counseling

11:15-12:30 Lunch and couple work on "Engaging and Connecting"

12:30-1:45 Couples Counseling

1:45-2:30 Break and couple work on "Forgiving Injuries"

2:30-3:30 Couples Counseling

3:30-4:00 Break and couple work on "Bonding Through Sex and Touch"

4:00-5:15 Couples Counseling

5:15-5:30 Wrap-up and assignment for "Keeping Your Love Alive"

Will we do weekly couples counseling post-COUPLES intensive?

In our two days together, we will make significant progress in your relationship, but in order to strengthen the work that has been done, we highly recommend that you follow up with weekly therapy after the intensive. This will ensure strong and lasting results. The length of weekly therapy varies from couple to couple. Your counselor will either continue with you weekly or refer you to one of our SoulCare counselors under her direct supervision. If you do not live in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, your counselor can refer you to an EFT therapist in your area for follow-up counseling.

Are we candidates for Couples Intensives?

Yes, IF…

You are stuck in a cycle of constant arguing/bickering/fighting and want out of the cycle.

You are seeking to repair your relationship after an affair.

You are thinking about separation or divorce, but want to try to make it work.

You want a relationship retreat to strengthen your marriage.

Probably not, IF…

There is current domestic violence.

There is current substance abuse with no plan for treatment/recovery

There is an ongoing affair with no plan to end it

One of you has definite intentions of ending the marriage.

Are couples intensives Worth It?

couples intensives - hands forming a heart

Think about what you’re trying to save: your marriage, your family. If your relationship gets worse, you could be paying far more than the cost of intensive therapy for divorce attorneys, moving expense, therapy, child support, and more. Compared to that, a couples intensive is a bargain! Your marriage deserves the best possible advantage to heal and we can give you that.

If you are ready to see results in your marriage now and get on the road to a healthy, safe and secure connection, contact us today and schedule a free thirty-minute consultation to see if couples intensives are right for you. You can use the contact link, call or text 817-808-2606, or email info@soulcarecounselingdfw.com.