If you are new to the term “Emotionally Focused Therapy” and doing some research on what it is and how it works, there is no doubt but you’re wondering, “What happens in the Emotionally Focused Therapy counseling sessions?” That’s a great question. Let me break it down so you can know what to expect.
Sometimes we intend to, sometimes we don’t; sometimes the injuries are small like emotional paper cuts and heal quickly, sometimes the wounds fester and stay open for years. The latter type of injury is the subject of this blog, injuries to the level of trust between two partners. Therapists call these type of injuries “attachment injuries.” What is an attachment injury and how can it be repaired?
The research on EFT is impressive. 90% of couples who go through EFT significantly improve their relationship and 70-75% move out of relationships distress after treatment. Compare that to the next leading couples therapy at a 35% success rate. So, doing couples counseling with a counselor trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy gives your relationship a huge advantage, but here are some tips for getting the most out of the EFT process.
If you have been through a traumatic event like a bad accident, a natural disaster, a violent attack, or combat, sometime after the event you are probably experiencing post-traumatic stress disorder, or PTSD. After trying to manage it yourself, you have now come to realize that you need professional help. the good news is that SoulCare Counseling uses a model of therapy that is especially effective with PTSD.
Have you ever bought an item of clothing that was “one-size-fits-all?” That’s quite a claim that the same pair of pants could fit both Pee Wee Herman and Andre the Giant. I’m sure those men bought different kinds of pants. In the same way, trauma is not one-size-fits-all. There are different kinds of trauma. This blog explores two different kinds of trauma, major trauma and developmental trauma.”
As therapists who work with Emotionally Focused Therapy, we see both the pain and power of intimacy. Ironically, love can hurt us but love can also heal us. The bitter and the sweet are in the same fountain. An intimate relationship, when it loses safety and security, can be a torture chamber inflicting pain. But when safety and security are in place, it can be a healing chamber healing pain. That is the goal of EFT.
So, trauma is not an event; but it is the brain’s response to what it perceives as a threat to or loss of safety. Because of that, trauma is not a societal standard of what is suffering and what is not. It is personal and unique to the individual. Thus, there is no reason to be too embarrassed to talk about our trauma.
One of the most common treatments for trauma is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. CBT is about changing behavior through changing cognition (thinking). The CBT therapist uses a method that questions the client’s flawed thoughts and emotions, seeking to help the client correct his/her cognition, which in turn will correct his/her behavior.
