If you are new to the term “Emotionally Focused Therapy” and doing some research on what it is and how it works, there is no doubt but you’re wondering, “What happens in the Emotionally Focused Therapy counseling sessions?” That’s a great question. Let me break it down so you can know what to expect.
Sometimes we intend to, sometimes we don’t; sometimes the injuries are small like emotional paper cuts and heal quickly, sometimes the wounds fester and stay open for years. The latter type of injury is the subject of this blog, injuries to the level of trust between two partners. Therapists call these type of injuries “attachment injuries.” What is an attachment injury and how can it be repaired?
The research on EFT is impressive. 90% of couples who go through EFT significantly improve their relationship and 70-75% move out of relationships distress after treatment. Compare that to the next leading couples therapy at a 35% success rate. So, doing couples counseling with a counselor trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy gives your relationship a huge advantage, but here are some tips for getting the most out of the EFT process.
One of the worst things that can happen to any marriage is an affair. We see it all the time in marriage counseling, a relationship in tatters from infidelity. The good news is that, after an affair the relationship wound can be repaired, but the bad news is that the scar will always be there. The best healing is prevention, and one way to prevent an affair is to understand the subtle way it can start.
As therapists who work with Emotionally Focused Therapy, we see both the pain and power of intimacy. Ironically, love can hurt us but love can also heal us. The bitter and the sweet are in the same fountain. An intimate relationship, when it loses safety and security, can be a torture chamber inflicting pain. But when safety and security are in place, it can be a healing chamber healing pain. That is the goal of EFT.
Many mental health professionals pathologize depression and anxiety. That is, they see these issues as illnesses, which they then label and treat with medical approaches. But in Emotionally Focused Therapy, we don’t think of anxiety or depression as mental illnesses; rather we group them together as emotional disorders. EFT therapists see people as emotional beings seeking connection above all.
No parent looks at their newborn baby and envisions a day when that sweet little one will experience a traumatic event. But the Center for Child Trauma Assessment Services and Interventions cites a recent study which found that approximately 65% of children experience at least one traumatic event during…
So, trauma is not an event; but it is the brain’s response to what it perceives as a threat to or loss of safety. Because of that, trauma is not a societal standard of what is suffering and what is not. It is personal and unique to the individual. Thus, there is no reason to be too embarrassed to talk about our trauma.
